Ragnarok "Blackdoor Miracle" CD
[Regain]
This is one of those records that, aesthetically, gives black metal a terrible, terrible reputation. Hands down one of the most juvenile and ridiculous layouts I've ever seen from the genre. Beyond the fact that the album is called "Blackdoor Miracle", which is bad enough, the cover displays a nude woman on her knees, engulfed in flame, coated in some blood, surrounded by candles and shit in the woods. And, to make matters even more fun for the whole family, you've got one of the band members, sneering, pointing a pistol. Inside are more utterly ridiculous pictures of the rest of the band, shoddy corpsepaint in tow, smeared with blood and brandishing some of the most constipatedly fucking stupid facial expressions I've ever laid eyes on. Absolutely horrible. The music is sort of weak, too. Norwegian black metal with tons of speed and a little bit of subtle melody with typical sneering vocal screams and keyboards cluttering things up in the distance. There are some really good riffs here, but the songs area really boring overall, and the recording fucking blows. It's almost like they were sort of going for a somewhat abrasive sound, but using a really clear recording with massively triggered drums and shit. It's powerless. The keyboards are hard to hear, but they add just enough noise to obscure some of the guitar parts, the vocals are a little overpowering, the bass is inaudible, and it's just a sheen of midrange and cymbals without enough definition to do any real damage. These are definitely some of the most annoying sounding drums I've ever heard (in large part due to the mix of the record), which is a shame because I actually like a lot of the drum parts. I'd say the band needs to mix up the tempos a bit more because the fast parts get stale, but most of the slower rhythms are fucking terrible, often having a weird sort of uppity gallop to the tempos that just stick out like a sore thumb. And what about the fucked up note bends in the disharmonic intro to the title track? Painful. "Murder" is one of the only good songs herein, mixing up the tempos consistently with lots of powerful riffing that stands well apart from the other tracks, and some of the more rhythmic and in your face chords in "Bless Thee for Granting Me Pain" are also cool - including the bass break! But really, I can't believe this band has been around for 10 years, nor that any label would even give a shit to release this. The music is tolerable, granted it offers absolutely nothing new or truly valuable to the genre, but if I were the head of this label one look at the cover would've had me saying, "Nope. I don't think so, fellas. Try again." Pass. There's no need to pick this up, there's a great deal of black metal out there that's far more intriguing than this. (3/10)
Running time - 42:12, Tracks: 9
[Notable tracks: Murder, Bless Thee for Granting Me Pain]
Regain Records - http://www.regainrecords.com

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