Babylon Mystery Orchestra "On Earth as it is in Heaven" CD
[self-released]
Well, I had my doubts about this one-man band (Sidney Allen Johnson), but then the opening acoustic instrumental was really good, so I was thinking, "Damn, maybe this'll be cool." Wrong. As soon as the programmed drums, muddy distorted guitars, synthesized sounding bass, and pitch-shifted vocals kicked in during "Semjaza's Song", I was convinced: This is complete and utter crap. Seriously, listening to this shit I cannot imagine someone putting so much time and money into this actually thinking it's good music. It's terrible. The vocals alone are among the worst I've ever heard, basically spoken in key and always under a little bit of detuning and pitch-shifting effects. It sounds like a joke. This entire CD basically sounds like what a late night TV show might do if they were spoofing "evil" sounding heavy metal. The chord progressions are slow and plain, the drum programming is the most basic possible, the solos are uninteresting... the only thing that sounds good are the acoustic guitars, and those aren't that hot either. The recording is nice and thick, pretty clear and stuff, but the guitar tone is awful, and the songs are so unbelievably terrible that it doesn't even matter what the recording sounds like. I mean, the concept is great. It's a concept record that revolves around the theory that a form of rock music existed in biblical times, as mentioned in scholarly texts alleged to be a part of the Dead Sea Scrolls. It's been well researched and presented here intelligently. And the layout's pretty professional for a self-released disc. It's actually well handled aside from the ridiculous posed band photos of the sole band member, hearkening back to the days of Jason Becker and Marty Friedman solo records or something. In addition to all of the lyrics there's an introduction to the concept as well as numerous explanations and quotes from the bible prior to each set of lyrics, carrying the story throughout the record. The lyrics themselves don't do much for me as they're sort of stripped down and phrased more like classic metal lyrics, allowing the additional text to carry more of the direct theme. It's an interesting effort, I must say - and it's worth mentioning that the booklet states that this is simply the communication of a story, rather than acting as one side of an argument, etc. But god damn, the music is intolerable. And I'm not just saying that, I'm serious. There are reviews on this guy's site giving this record a 10/10, 8/10, and so on. Those people are either deaf, liars, or friends with this musician. I mean no disrespect, I totally respect the efforts put forth here, at least the guy's trying, but were he my best friend I would tell him the exact same thing, I assure you: Musically, this is one of the worst CD's I have ever had to sit through. There's no energy, no power, nothing. It's a lifeless set of songs held up by a thread using an intriguing concept. That's all I can say. (1/10)
Running time - 58:37, Tracks: 13
[Notable tracks: they're almost all horrible]
Babylon Mystery Orchestra - http://www.babylonmysteryorchestra.com

This review has been displayed 1622 times.